1. Life’s not about what you do, but who you do it with: The happiest memories to me are the ones spent with the people who make life exciting, no matter what. Doing life with the right people makes even the mundane worthwhile.
2. Life is what you make of it: It’s up to you to make the most of the opportunities that come your way. Starting college made me realize that building friendships and taking advantage of experiences available to me required my interest and commitment. You have to create the life you dream of.
3. I dress the way I do because it makes me happy: I’m not suggesting going to school in a ballgown (if that was socially acceptable, I 100% would), but I’ve found that dressing in a feminine style simply boosts my mood, so that’s why I do it. Do whatever it is that makes your day extra exciting, even if that’s something as ordinary as wearing a floral top.
4. All emotions are necessary: If it wasn’t for sadness, I wouldn’t have started writing poetry. If it wasn’t for fear, I wouldn’t have found the people I love who were there for me in my lowest moments. If it wasn’t for anger, I wouldn’t have started this blog.
5. Moving on is a choice: You lose nothing by letting go; you gain peace and the ability to accept new joys and opportunities when you stop holding onto what you can’t keep anymore. Love others freely, but have the ability to let go of what is not meant to be.
6. No amount of academic validation will ever make you truly happy: The real things that matter in life are the things you cannot put on a resume, things like your character, the people you love, the places you explore, the hobbies and interests you enjoy. Those make you who you are, not your academic or work standing.
7. It is not your job to fix people: No matter how much you care, someone who doesn’t want to improve their own life will not do so until they reach that revelation. Be there for people, but know when they are not willing to make their lives better, even when you see that they need to.
8. Deep down, the answer is always in you: The answer is always there when you pause to think of the best route. It might not be perfect, but sometimes you have to trust yourself enough to take a leap of faith, even when you hear a clashing of different voices telling you what to do.
9. Know who to be vulnerable with: I’ve learned to take my time when getting to know others, to open up when the timing feels natural, and to discern who to trust. Know whose opinion matters to you and who truly listens and understands you before being vulnerable.
10. Stop yourself when you start judging others: I take it as a sign that if I’m inwardly criticizing someone, it reveals more about what I think of myself than what I feel about the other person. No one is obligated to think or do things the way I do. The more I accept others for who they are and love them for that, the happier I am overall.
11. Read people for what they are, not what you hope they’ll be: When we like someone, it’s easy to magnify their greatest qualities and assume that just the littlest bit of attention means their feelings are mutual. Pay attention to the words and actions that they carry out, not the person you’ve created in your head.
12. Comparison is a waste of time: Even when someone seems like they have it all, they most likely don’t. Be happy for the people who have the things you want, and use your energy to focus on building a fulfilling life rather than envying the lives of others.
13. Be sanguine: My professor and friend Dr. Clark taught me my favorite word, sanguine. He said, “It’s not about being impervious to the emotions you’re feeling. It's about understanding that they’re plural and not permanent. Emotions are replaced by something else eventually. Being sanguine is being mindful that ‘yes I'm feeling this, but it will soon be something else.’”
14. Don’t let fear hold you back from reaching out to others: I used to be hesitant towards asking someone for their time and energy, convincing myself that I would annoy them by doing so. I’ve learned that people appreciate when I display my interest in getting to know them better. No one can guarantee reciprocation, but putting yourself out there matters when it comes to developing deeper relationships.
15. Set boundaries: People who don’t respect your boundaries don’t respect you. Say ‘yes’ to the things that tug on your heart, and ‘no’ to the ones that will eventually wear you down.
16. Sometimes God puts people in our lives for a reason that goes against our hopes, and that’s okay: If it wasn’t for the relationships that hadn’t worked out the way I’d hoped, I might not have the same drive to pursue my dreams. Surround yourself with good people, and get to know them. Each person adds value to your life.
17. Being a human means being imperfect: It’s ok to not have everything figured out, to not be smiling ear to ear all day everyday, to be scared, to wonder when your dreams will come true, and to feel awful sometimes. That’s called being human.
18. Silence is only awkward if you think it is: To me, comfortable silence is an indication that I feel comfortable enough with someone to not have to fill every moment with talking. There is beauty in the quiet, in the pondering, and the joy of finding peace solely in someone’s presence.
19. Be easy on yourself and others for the emotions that come in waves: It’s okay to think you’ve healed and then watch emotions rush back to you like an unexpected wave crashing you down. Sometimes it takes longer than you’d hope to get back up. It’s okay to struggle with that and to understand that others are feeling the same way too.
20.Do what you love, and love will find you: Love will find you in the thrill of blasting your favorite song in the car with your best friend, in scribbling poetry in the middle of the night, in the smell of flowers on your morning walk, in the challenge it takes to complete a new task followed by relief when you overcome the fears of inadequacy, in the people who hug you tightly, in the learning, in the trying, in the letting go. Do everything with love, and love will find its way to you.
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